Living My Authentic Self – Day 5 of 30: Directed Vulnerability

In our scheduled monthly social chat, my colleague and friend at work referred me to a Netflix production of she watched recently about vulnerability. It tied in perfectly with our conversations and what it means to be vulnerable. Today’s post is a list of my top quotes from the production is of Brene Brown, titled “The call to courage”.

In my life, I’ve often mistaken vulnerability for disclosure. One of the quotes listed below is “Vulnerability without boundaries is not vulnerability”. As I’ve found the hard way, vulnerability comes with trust. Taking Brene’s thoughts about vulnerability and trust, and cross-multiplying it by Theadore’s man in the arena. we see a form of vulnerability that can now be directed. This forms the basis of a practical implementation of vulnerability in our lives.

Quotes:

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, …

Theadore Roosevelt, Citizenship in a Republic, aka “The man in the arena”

“Vulneratbility is having the courage to show up when we can’t control the outcome”

“Vulerability is the most accurate way to measure courage”

“If you are not in the arena getting your ass kicked on occasion because you were being brave, I am not interested or open to your feedback about my work”

“We usually reserve using people’s vulnerability against them, for the people we love the most… because we’re scared of seeing vulnerability in other people.”

“How can you let yourself be loved, if you don’t let yourself be seen?”

“The opposite of belonging is fitting in. True belonging doesn’t require you to change who you are. It requires you to be who you are. That’s vulnerable.”

“When we lose our capacity for vulnerability, joy becomes foreboding.”

“Vulnerability has a real physiology”

“Gratitude is also vulnerable. “

“When you are grateful for what you have, I understand that you understand the magnitude of what I’ve lost. “

“I get so busy chasing the extraordinary moments, that I don’t pay attention to the ordinary moments. The moments that if taken away, I would miss more than any thing.”

“Sometimes when I’m really grateful and things are just amazing, I close my eyes and take a picture memory so that when I feel lonely or things are hard, I can remember it.”

“Just do the joyful thing, for the hell of it.”

“Effort and taking a chance doesn’t always pay off, but I don’t see anything that pays off without effort or taking a chance.”

“No vulnerability, no creativity. No tolerance for failure, no innovation. If you’re not willing to fail, you can’t innovate. if you’re not willing to build a vulnerable culture, you can’t create.”

“To not have the conversations because they make you uncomfortable is the definition of priviledge. Your comfort is not at the center of this discussion.”

“It’s not a question of whether you have a bias or not. It’s ‘what biases do you have, and how many and how deep?'”

“I’m not sure if I’m going to nail this but I’m going to try, but what I’m sure as hell not going to do is stay quiet.”

“Sometimes winning is not coming in first. Sometimes winning is doing the really brave thing. “

“Vulnerability is hard and scary and dangerous. but it’s not as hard scary or dangerous as getting to the end of your lives and not having shown up”

Vulnerability Rules

1. Vulnerability is not weakness. Uncertainty, risk or emotional exposure
2. You do vulnerability, or vulnerability does you. 
3. Vulnerability cant be "done" alone.
4. The minute it becomes comfortable, it's no longer vulnerability.
5. Vulnerability minus boundaries, is not vulnerability.
6. Vulnerability is not measured by the amount of disclosure. 

The call the courage, Brene Brown, Netflix

Photo by Milan Ivanovic on Unsplash

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